tonights group was good... interesting.
im happy and excited for any and all topics on validation since i suck at it so much!
my probs would be that i feel so undeserving of any help i would get for validating a moment. i feel like i should be able to sort shit out on my own... PSHHHYEAHH im my dreams.
shit, bowl dinger moment...
uhh correction: validation is a hard thing for me right now, but in time it will become easier with help from b and practicing it.
my favourite thing i learned tonight was when one of the members offered advice [which i feel sketchy about taking since she is afterall in group too, but it turned out good] in response to my statement of feeling like if i validate particular members of my fambam then im giving into them and letting them win. winning is important to me. the first question b asked me was what is winning... and then the other group member offered up that thinking in my head of validation of the fambam would be the last word. it would come from my mouth so basically i would win is how i see it. im all for winning.
i suppose i should reflect on the question of what winning is to me.... i have always thought that it was getting the last word in, talking the loudest, having my input be atleast heard. but im learning that there is no "winning" in a discussion. that i can make the last word become a validation of how they are feeling, that my input deserves to be listened to instead of just heard.
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